Question 1

How do I get a restraining order?

Accepted Answer

Go to your county's family or civil courthouse and ask the clerk for a 'protective order' or 'order of protection' petition — no attorney or filing fee required. Temporary ex parte orders can be issued the same day. A full hearing follows within 10–21 days. Court advocates and DV agencies help fill out forms; bring any evidence (texts, photos, police reports).

Question 2

Where can I go right now if I'm not safe?

Accepted Answer

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (text START to 88788) — they connect you to your nearest shelter, arrange emergency transport, and help with a safety plan. Shelters are confidential, free, and 24/7. If you're in immediate danger, call 911 and ask for a DV advocate at the scene.

Question 3

Will the shelter take my kids?

Accepted Answer

Yes. Domestic violence shelters accept women with children — most accommodate boys up to age 17 (a few have age limits around 12–13 for older boys, and will arrange alternate placement nearby). Pets are increasingly welcome through programs like RedRover and Sheltering Animals & Families Together. Bring kids' birth certificates, school records, and any medications if you can.

Question 4

Is the hotline really free and confidential?

Accepted Answer

Yes — the National DV Hotline and all state DV hotlines are free, confidential, anonymous, available 24/7, and offered in 200+ languages. Advocates don't report to police, immigration, or CPS unless you request it (mandatory reporting applies only to active child abuse). You can call to plan, vent, or just ask questions before deciding anything.

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Contact & Details

More Domestic Violence in Hawaii